Life.

You waited your whole life to grow up.
Always wanted to be old enough for this or that.
Wished you were just one year older.
Always.

Now I'm grown.
Is this what I wanted?
for the future, for myrself?
Am I even happy?

I have dreams. I always did.
Where did they go?
I don't even see them when I sleep anymore.
What have you done to yourself?

Is this really my life?
Will I always be crying
so many things I can't change.
So many things I hate.

Joy and laughter.
Distant cousins of mine.
I see them sometimes
But were not that close.

I'm dust on the wall.
Dirt on the rug.
Only an inconvenience
it seems.

They say they love me.
Most days Ibelieve it.
But I'm always alone.
Why am I so alone?

Where did everyone go?
They gave up.
I'm difficult.
No one understands me.

I'm worth nothing.
Work my shit job
and shut up.
No one wants to hear it.

I want more.
How do I get it?
I don't deserve it.
Dreams are for children.

I wanted this.
I wished this.
I asked for this.

Me.

I am responsible for the mess my life has become.

Putting my faith back in God

2016 was one of the worst years I’ve ever had.

Between moving 5 times, having countless dollars stolen from me, going through job after job, working 3 jobs at one time, and having 2 shady roommates; I spent this year depressed and angry,  I started breaking down my most cherished relationship, and forgetting my faith.

I spent almost the entire year fighting with God and questioning my relationship with him. Asking him “why me?” and to take me home because the weight of my world was becoming too much. I really lost myself this year and I lost sight of what is truly important.

I’ve lived my whole life believing that God wouldn't give me more than I could handle. This year as one negative thing piled on top of the last I broke and I stopped trusting God.

That is where things really started to get worse. Instead of trusting God and talking to him about what I was thinking and dealing with, I ignored him and all the signs he was giving me that things would be alright.

I hate admitting that I gave up on God. It’s sad and embarrassing but it’s the truth.

One night after hours of crying over the last 14 months of my life and the things that were in it that were going wrong and begging God to end my life, I picked up my bible. I don’t even know why I did it. I was crying intensely and just reached for it. I opened it and turned to a contents page which directed you to readings about whatever you were going through. I looked through the page until I came across list about contemplating suicide and it lead me to this:

1 Corinthians 6:19,20

19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your body.

I stopped crying. I started to breathe slower and I calmed myself down. That was the moment I let God back into my life. I trusted him again and I believed his word.

Now I have to say that I would never take my own life. But having the thought of doing it and even contemplating it is TERRIFYING!  I never want to feel that way again.

God works in great ways. Ways we couldn’t ever imagine. His timing is always perfect even if we don’t think so. With accepting this I was taught that patience and trust are key to building a relationship with God.

In addition to patience and trust, communicating rather than complaining to him has opened my eyes. In just a few weeks of accepting him back into my life, I have seen changes in my world and my life.

I now see the last 14 months of my life in a whole new light. I’m not angry or feeling sorry for myself anymore. I’ve forgiven the past and any wrong I’ve done or has been done to me and I’m moving on.

God knew this whole time that I would be okay and he knew I would make my way back to him.

I gave up on God but he did not give up on me and I can promise you he hasn’t given up on your either. I’m telling you, you have to trust him. His word and his love will bring you places you never thought you deserved to be. Trust him and you’ll see for yourself.

That bible changed my life and God saved my life. He will save yours too.

Xxoo - Katie

My favourite winter scents!

Fa la la la la!

It's the holidays!!!

I love Christmas! I love the Christmas spirit, the music, the food, the family, the movies, and the scents which is what I'll be talking about today. Winter scents!!!

But first, can we all  take a moment to enjoy these 90's Christmas classics?

🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄





Alright now that that's out of my system lets get into the perfumes that I've been loving so much!




BURBERRY BRIT:

This perfume is amazing! Every time I wear it I get so many compliments. Burberry says this scent has notes from Crisp, icy pear, sugared almonds, and intense vanilla. Sephora says this fragrance is impulsive, sexy, and unique. I completely agree with that. I've never found a perfume to smell anything like this. It's a perfect scent to warm up the cold winter air!

You can purchase this perfume at Sephora for $90.00 - $122.00

CHLOE:

For starters, the packaging is gorgeous but its what's inside that really drew me in. When I got this I wasn't sure what it was going to smell like but WOW! I feel luxurious when I wear this and I'm so afraid to use it because I don't want it to ever run out. Sephora describes this perfume as chic, comfortable and entirely addictive and they're right! Sephora also includes the notes in this scent which include pink peony, lychee, magnolia flower, lily of the valley, rose, cedarwood, amber, and honey. This scent is fresh and warm and would make a great addition to any perfume lovers collection

You can purchase this perfume at Sephora for $86.00 - $200

LANCOME HYPNOSE

I've been wearing this perfume since High School and I won't stop until it gets discontinued but lets all hope that never happens! Lancome describes this scent as a woody oriental fragrance that acts like a sensual love potion. I'm not even kidding when I say it smells just like that haha. This fragrance has top notes of passion flower. Heart note of absolute vanilla and a gorgeous base note or vetiver. I've been in love with this scent for years and honestly I didn't really like it until I sprayed a little on my wrist. After that, I was hooked. It's been about 8 years of wearing this and loving every bottle even after it's empty.

You can purchase this scent in Sears or HBC and you can also order it online from Lancome for $63.00 - $103.00

COCO CHANEL:

This is a staple for many women and a true classic when it comes to perfumes. When I was a teenager, A woman I was very close to had a bottle with her one day and there were only a few sprays left. After we talked about it and  I told her how much I loved the scent she actually gave me the bottle!! I used those last few sprays sparingly! I  kept the bottle so I would remember it and buy it when I got older. Years past and I now have my own and I'm still in love with it now as I was back then. So Claudette, should you ever read this, Thank you =). Chanel created this scent after Gabrielle Chanel's personality. They describe it as a mysterious and provocative scent that slowly reveals its contrasting notes. The notes in this perfume are jasmine absolute, ylang-ylang, Tunisian orange blossom, Indonesian patchouli, tonka bean, and benzoin. This perfume is mature and there is nothing else like it.

You can order this scent right from the Chanel website for $72.00 - $124.00

So that's it! So far at least haha!

 If you have or go out and venture into the world to give these perfumes a test, Let me know what you think! If you have any other winter favourite that You think I missed or would love then let m know!    

 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Happy Holidays, Everyone!

Xxoo - Katie

50 more facts about me

First things first. I haven't blogged in a while. This past summer has been tough. I'm not exactly sure how I made it through but I did and I'm thankful.

So because I haven't blogged in a while I've decided to start back up again in a fun way. I get a few emails asking for more facts about me and it's one of my most popular posts so why not do another one. =) 

Let's get started!

1.  I love to dance. I'm just really bad at it.
2. I'm a social person but I love hanging out alone.
3. I love playing Hearthstone.
4. I'm in a long distant relationship!
   
5. I move WAY more than the average person.
6. I'm not quite sure who I'm suppose to be but I have an idea of who I want to be.
7. I love watching Joyce Meyer.
8. I'm learning to speak Spanish. Very slowly.
9. I'd love to move to Australia, The UK or South Africa
10. I watch reruns of Braceface when I get ready for work
11. I have purple hair.
12. My laptop is so broken it probably shouldn't even work.
13. I'd love to travel the world.
14. The first thing I do in a hotel room is smell the shampoo and conditioner.
15. I'm always singing.
16. I dislike being cold.
17. I want a big family.
18. My goal in life is to be happy.
19. Jeans are extremely uncomfortable.
20. Drinking coffee gives me mild anxiety.
21. Dresses are my favourite thing to wear. 
    
22. I have a wallet in my purse but it only has expired cards and receipts in it.
23. I often think about starting a Youtube channel.
24. Music can always cheer me up.
25. I could easily live off Ramen.
26. I could also live off of peppermint and green tea.
27. I am not materialistic. However, I am a sentimentalist.
28. Math eludes me. I just cant do it.
29. I love writing. Too bad I have poor sentence structure and punctuation skills.
30. I've always wanted a walk in closet with a dressing table.
31. My boyfriend is an artist and I genuinely love each piece he creates.
    
32. I love animals. I want them all as pets.
33. I remember almost every dream I have.
34. I'm a huge day dreamer.
35. I'm a procrastinator.
36.  I'm terrified of any noise I hear in the dark.
37. I love hugs.
38. I'm a messy person.
39. I love Christmas pajamas
40. I cry if I'm mad, happy, scared or excited.
41. I like really hot showers.
42. I'd like to move to Costa Rica before I'm 30.
43. I love all the foods that are bad for me and I have no problem getting a second helping of them.
44. I love to cook.
45. I didn't apply for my current job. I walked in and proved I could do it and I was hired.
46. I love when my hair is curled.
47. Two years ago I prayed for someone and I met him a few months later.
    
48. I love stories based on true events.
49. I'm a big fan of Animal Crossing.
50. I can't handle looking at bones and blood. They make me want to pass out.

Okay. there's 50. That was harder to do the second time around. Had to make sure I didn't repeat any from the first post! Hope you all enjoyed reading a few random things, if you have some of the same facts about yourself let me know down below!

                                      xxoo - Katie

Summer Sun Protection

Well it's that time of year again! Who's excited? 

With all the fun activities that come with the sunshine and warm weather it's really important to protect our skin from the sun. I re-watched a video I seen last year about UV rays and skin and after watching it again I knew I wanted to make a post about the importance of sunscreen. Here's the video in case you wanted to check it out. It's about 3 minutes and trust me, it's pretty cool!

Did you watch it? What did you think? Crazy, hey?! 

So for those of you who don't know, there's a difference between sunblock and sunscreen 

 Sunblocks, such as zinc oxide and titanium dioxide, are highly effective in protecting against both UVA and UVB rays, the types of UV radiation that cause sunburn and skin cancer. Sunblocks often appear white on the skin. Sunscreens tend to be less visible on the skin and absorbs UV rays and does not reflect them 

Here's an article all about it if you're interested! 

 http://www.news-medical.net/news/2007/08/07/28543.aspx

Sun screen is my ride or die. I wear it even in the winter. After years of trying different ones I found a few of my favourites and I'll share those with you later on in this post.

I'm going to cover just a few reasons why you should be wearing sun screen and it's importance so let's get right into it.

1. Sunscreen has proven to slow down the process of wrinkles and premature ageing skin.

2. Sunscreen has also been proven to decrease the growth of skin cancer.

3. Prevents sunburns and tanning -  I'm sure we all knew that. 

4. Helps even out your skin tone

5. Great for hydrating the skin.

I have three sunblocks that I use almost every day. I have one for my face and two others for my body.

So for my face I'll use Neutrogena Clear face SPF 30 

I don't know about you but I get a bit of anxiety putting new products on my face. I have pretty clear skin and would really like to keep it that way. I tried this sunblock while I was home alone one weekend and no breakouts or texture came to my face. I even put make up on over top and went outside. I had no signs of burning and it didn't make my make-up move which is just an added bonus!  I purchased this for $14 at Shoppers Drug Mart

 The next product I use is Sunbum SPF 50

First off, Yum! This smells so good to me! This product is a sunscreen and I use it all over my body if I'm going out. I've used this for years and I have no complaints expect one, I can only ever find travel sizes so I'm constantly repurchasing this at least 3 times every summer. Part of me doesn't mind because it works so well. I paid a little over $10 for mine. Give this little beauty a try. I'm sure you'l love it.

Last but of course not least we have Coola- sport SPF 30
This product is suppose to be organic but I don't care about that, yeah yeah shoot me. moving on.. This one is my go to mostly because it smells so fantastic but a little bit goes a long way which I love. I do find myself having to re-apply every other hour which isn't so bad since I do the same with my other block, I just find it wears off faster than the others but it's still my favourite! I paid $36 for this at Ulta online. Coola also has amazing lip balms and other great sun protection products. If you can, go smell a few haha you won't be disappointed. 

Alright that's it. Those are my must have sunblocks and screens. Don't forget to further protect your skin by wearing hats and keeping hydrated. Stay healthy this summer, everyone!

                                                                       Xxoo - Katie 

Long Distance Relationships. Do's & Don'ts.

 

If there's anything I know a little bit about it's  LDR's. (Long distance relationship)
 Now, even though I'd like to be, I'm no expert. I do what I can and I do what works for me and Luis and he does the same.

So for those of you who don't know, I'm from Canada. Luis is from Costa Rica. 

Despite the direct flight to see each other being a little over 5 hours, were still pretty far apart. and depending on the the time of year I'm only ever 1 to 2 hours ahead of him. Luis and I are pretty blessed being so close in time. It allows us to have a normal day and it makes scheduling dates and phone calls much easier.

Like every relationship, we figure things out as we go, what keeps up close, builds our foundation and what each of us needs to be happy within the relationship. 

So today while I was thinking about the fundamentals of a LDR the first thing I thought of was communication. I think we can all agree that no matter what kind of relationship you have, if you don't have good communication, you really don't have anything at all. That thought branched out into a few other important things one needs to have  healthy relationships and I decided to start thinking about the specific things a long distance relationship needs or at least what Luis and I think it needs. So That brings us to right now. Luis told me a few things he thinks are great ideas and things he enjoys within our LDR and I'll be including those with my own. 


So here we go. =)

Long Distance Relationship : Do's & Don'ts According to Luis and Katie.

Luis

♊ Don't be passive aggressive 

♊ Do work towards visiting your LDR at least every 6 or so months

♊ Don't get upset when the other person can't dedicate their entire day to you

♊ Do keep communication alive

♊ Do keep things fresh with video chats or online games

♊ Do have crazy late night chats

♊ Do have fun projects you can do apart and complete when you come together, it'll be an extra layer of fun that will keep your SO on your mind as an exciting partner and friend

♊ Don't bog each other down with uncertainties, but do discuss future plans and ideas, and work towards early first steps

♊ Do send fun selfies and pictures that remind you of your love

♊ Don't fill your every interactions with stress and negativity (of course people are emotional. and have bad days, and that's ok to talk about, just make sure not all of your interactions are negative)

♊ Do try new things like watching movie genres you normally wouldn't together, or try new foods while skyping, maybe do arts and crafts or doodle and share your drawings

Katie

♓ Get used to communicating. It's going to be the most important part of your relationship

♓ Get used to having your dates interrupted

♓ Internet and phone bills will be high. Budget for that

♓ Don't forget reality. It's so easy to think about how perfect life will be together and that's fine but don't forget to be realistic too.

♓ Have an open mind

♓  Trust each other or go your separate ways

♓ Take lots of photos and videos when you're together

♓ Use the time apart to build a better you

♓ Take interest in the things they love. It could be one more thing you can enjoy together

♓ Family is important and so are friends. Get to know them as best you can.

♓ Find a series you can watch together online. Save the finale for when you're together!

♓ Work towards closing the distance

♓ Don't rush. Enjoy the distance even though its the hardest thing to appreciate.



✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵✵


So those are just a few things we thought of this morning while talking. Hope some of you can apply these to your LDR or any relationship you may have.
 
Luis and I make a point of doing what we can to maintain our open communication and easy flowing relationship. But like every relationship, we have our faults and short comings but we work through them because we feel there are more important things to spend time our on and we value our relationship. We make a choice everyday to respect and understand one another and so far it's been great! =D

Do you have any do's and don'ts of your own? I'd love to read them and discuss them with you!

Happy Sunday, Everyone! Enjoy your week!



  Xxoo - Katie

New year, New blog.

New year new me? How about New year new blog?!

Welcome to my new and updated blog. Things got a bit different here. New colours and set up. Even a new name! 

I decided to make this change to make my blog a little more personal.  Don't worry, I'll still be posting the same content. I just wanted my page to have a new look that everyone could enjoy. Knowing me, I'll change a few things here and there to keep up with the seasons but the name will always be the same. 

Using my name makes it easier not just for me but for readers as well. Everything is all under one name which makes searching for things that much easier.

Anyway I really hope you all like the new look! P.S (TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!)

Happy new year, Everyone!

                                                                Katie - Xxoo

November Favourites

November is almost over! Where did my year go?! Anyone else wondering where it went? 

So I've been loving  few things this month that I wanted to share with you because I'm completely obsessed and its become a problem! So lets just get started so you can be just as excited as I am. =)


Beauty Favourites

TheBalm has created 7 matte lip shades and I received one in my Ipsy glam bag last month. I used it once and forgot about it until this month. The shade I received is called Committed and that's exactly what I am to the shade. I've used this everyday that I've applied make up. The shade is a pinky nude that glides on smooth. The colour is very pigmented and stays on for quite sometime. Besides the colour and staying power if this matte lipstick is the smell. Chocolate mint?! Yes please!!  Check this lipstick out, I'm confident you'll love it just as much as I do! 

Morphe eyeshadows have quickly become my favourite shadows I use them every day I wear make up and am constantly buying more. The two shades I want to rave about today are Birthday Suit and Marbleized. 
Birthday Suit is a matte light brown. I use this all over my lid to add depth to my eye. This shade blends in with my skin tone so well it looks quite natural when I wear it by its self. It's an easy shade to work with and like all Morphe shadows, it blends out very well! 

Marbelized is a beautiful golden brown shade. It shimmers, it shines. It does everything a shimmer shadow should. it blends beautifully and stays where I apply it. I have no trouble with these shadows creasing which is a major bonus and I also don't get much fall out. When I use this shadow I apply it on my outer corner over top of Birthday Suit. Adding this shade to a matte shadow will instantly spice up your look and add dimension to your eye. Give it a try. I think you'll like it! 

Pur-lisse BB Tinted moist cream

I also received this in my Ipsy glam bag back in October and started using it this month because the weather got colder and the air became dry so why not use this, Cover up blemishes and moisturize at the same time? The coverage with this product surprised me. I didn't expect it to be as pigmented as it is and I didn't expect it to have the coverage it did. Personally I have to apply this at least twice a day to keep it looking fresh but for me that's not an issue since I usually refresh my make up twice anyway. Give this a try if you're looking for a lighter alternative to foundation.

Nani Long lasting lip gloss

Now this collection is a steal! Why? because I got all 38 colours for $40! These colours range from pink, red and brown. they are all matte lip glosses that finish like a matte lip stick. They apply nicely, last long and are highly pigmented. These glosses don't smell like anything and some of them are shimmer shades. Try these glosses out. You'll fall in love with the shades and be overwhelmed with all the colours! 

Non Beauty Favourites

Greek seaside candle from febreze 
Wow! Everything about this candle makes me happy. It smells like  airy seaside summers, salt and flowers. It's incredible haha. The only downfall to these candles is that they burn fast. I wish they would last longer but to be honest I dont care how many times I have to repurchase this. I'll always be happy. 

Happy planet chocolate banana protein smoothie 

 I'm obsessed and currently drinking this! I've turned away from chocolate banana anything for years and one day while at work someone was drinking this and I was curious about it so after work I bought one and I've been hooked ever since! This shake is delicious and made right here in Canada! Happy planet products are amazing and I love all their products, especially the Thai coconut soup (Thats another blog post) So if you ever see this drink, try it or the other flavours they have, I'm sure there's one for everyone! 

That's it for my favourites! a small post but full of great things I think you'll love! remember to comment if you've tried any of these products! Let me know what you think!

Happy Holidays!

Xxoo - Katie