If there's anything I know a little bit about it's LDR's. (Long distance relationship)
Now, even though I'd like to be, I'm no expert. I do what I can and I do what works for me and Luis and he does the same.
So for those of you who don't know, I'm from Canada. Luis is from Costa Rica.
Despite the direct flight to see each other being a little over 5 hours, were still pretty far apart. and depending on the the time of year I'm only ever 1 to 2 hours ahead of him. Luis and I are pretty blessed being so close in time. It allows us to have a normal day and it makes scheduling dates and phone calls much easier.
Like every relationship, we figure things out as we go, what keeps up close, builds our foundation and what each of us needs to be happy within the relationship.
So today while I was thinking about the fundamentals of a LDR the first thing I thought of was communication. I think we can all agree that no matter what kind of relationship you have, if you don't have good communication, you really don't have anything at all. That thought branched out into a few other important things one needs to have healthy relationships and I decided to start thinking about the specific things a long distance relationship needs or at least what Luis and I think it needs. So That brings us to right now. Luis told me a few things he thinks are great ideas and things he enjoys within our LDR and I'll be including those with my own.
So here we go. =)
Long Distance Relationship : Do's & Don'ts According to Luis and Katie.
Luis
♊ Don't be passive aggressive
♊ Do work towards visiting your LDR at least every 6 or so months
♊ Don't get upset when the other person can't dedicate their entire day to you
♊ Do keep communication alive
♊ Do keep things fresh with video chats or online games
♊ Do have crazy late night chats
♊ Do have fun projects you can do apart and complete when you come together, it'll be an extra layer of fun that will keep your SO on your mind as an exciting partner and friend
♊ Don't bog each other down with uncertainties, but do discuss future plans and ideas, and work towards early first steps
♊ Do send fun selfies and pictures that remind you of your love
♊ Don't fill your every interactions with stress and negativity (of course people are emotional. and have bad days, and that's ok to talk about, just make sure not all of your interactions are negative)
♊ Do try new things like watching movie genres you normally wouldn't together, or try new foods while skyping, maybe do arts and crafts or doodle and share your drawings
Katie
♓ Get used to communicating. It's going to be the most important part of your relationship
♓ Get used to having your dates interrupted
♓ Internet and phone bills will be high. Budget for that
♓ Don't forget reality. It's so easy to think about how perfect life will be together and that's fine but don't forget to be realistic too.
♓ Have an open mind
♓ Trust each other or go your separate ways
♓ Take lots of photos and videos when you're together
♓ Use the time apart to build a better you
♓ Take interest in the things they love. It could be one more thing you can enjoy together
♓ Family is important and so are friends. Get to know them as best you can.
♓ Find a series you can watch together online. Save the finale for when you're together!
♓ Work towards closing the distance
♓ Don't rush. Enjoy the distance even though its the hardest thing to appreciate.
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So those are just a few things we thought of this morning while talking. Hope some of you can apply these to your LDR or any relationship you may have.
Luis and I make a point of doing what we can to maintain our open communication and easy flowing relationship. But like every relationship, we have our faults and short comings but we work through them because we feel there are more important things to spend time our on and we value our relationship. We make a choice everyday to respect and understand one another and so far it's been great! =D
Do you have any do's and don'ts of your own? I'd love to read them and discuss them with you!
Happy Sunday, Everyone! Enjoy your week!
Xxoo - Katie
So this post is going to be a bit different from my usual posts. I just realized that I've had my blog for an entire year!! So I've decided to make a post to share with you a few things I've learned during this past year with quotes and just some random thoughts here and there. So if this isn't your type of post, you can exit this window. I promise I wont be mad. If you're looking forward to reading this then hold on a quick second. I promise I'll get to the body of this post right now.
"Develop a healthy relationship with food. If you're hungry, eat. If you're full, don't eat. Eat vegetables to be god to your body, but eat ice cream to be good to your soul.
Take pictures of yourself frequently. Chronicle your life. Selfies are completely underrated. Even if the pictures are unflattering, keep them anyway. There will always be mountains and cities and buildings, but you will never look the same as you did in that moment in time.
Your worth does not depend on how desirable someone finds you. Spend less time in front of the mirror and more time with the people who make you feel beautiful.
Close doors. Don't hold onto things that no longer bring you happiness and do not help you grow as a person. It is okay to walk away from toxic relationships. You are not wear for letting go.
Forgive yourself.. We all have something in our pasts that we are ashamed of, but they only weigh us down if we allow them to. Make amends with the old you and work every day to become the person that you've always wanted to be." - Tina Tran
I'll be honest, when I first seen this quote on Tumblr and didn't want to read it but for some reason I did anyway and didn't regret reading a single word. Every part of it I can relate to and I think most of you can too. It really reminded me that, Yes! I'm allowed to be happy, and happy I will be.
Allow yourself to be happy without worrying about the opinions of others. This took me a long time to figure out and the second I realized that I don't have to hide my happiness, my life changed.
Embrace change. Even though this can be the hardest thing you'll ever do, I promise you it's worth it. I moved across the country to get away from a few people and a bad situation and I'm telling you. It feels amazing to be myself and to no longer be judged!
Love a family that loves you back!
No more wasting time on people who don't care about you and only say nice things to you to make them look good. You should NEVER feel ashamed about the person you are and No one should ever let you feel that way.
Always be yourself!
If you can't be yourself somewhere then why are you there? Why waste your precious time on something or someone that doesn't allow you to be yourself? Surround yourself with places and people that truly love you for all you are.
Be apart of something that you truly love and believe in.
Whether this is a family, religion, or work, Love it. and be apart of whatever it is because YOU want to. Not because it would please everyone else. As a people pleaser I struggled with this but moving away made it clear that the people I was associated with would only be interested in me if I conformed to what they thought was best.
Do something for yourself.
For the past 4 years, I did nothing for myself. I slaved to make someone happy who just didn't want to be. I constantly put myself second to everyone and was punished for even thinking about doing something for myself. You can't live like that! You have to stand up for yourself and realize how you deserve to be treated. Find people that appreciate you and all your efforts but also encourage you to be your own person.
Surround yourself with people who are happy and want the best for you.
I slowly started to distance myself from the people who didn't care about me and started hanging out with friends again. It was my Friend who showed me how people who love one another should be treated, just how much love I deserve, and how loved I really am by the people that truly matter. Jamie and Craig, I can never thank you enough for all the talks, tears and downright honest moments we've shared in the kitchen. You two are what kept me going when I was broken and I love you so much for that. <3
Don't hold on to heartbreak.
Okay, Cry. That's okay but I've learned to just let it go. I've learned that sometimes no matter how hard you try, not everything I meant to be. It's not worth it if it's not natural. Let it go and move on
The best things happen when you're not looking.
you have a routine, Yeah. so do I. You follow it everyday and nothing changes.
Until one day everything you thought you knew confuses you. He comes along and makes you smile. He doesn't know that you were crying only minutes before and he doesn't know anything thing about you but he thinks you're nice and he wants to know more. He doesn't pry or force you to share, He lets you be yourself and it turns out he likes who you are. He likes your laugh, your jokes, your smile, and your thoughts. He is perfect.
Let yourself love again
Even if it's 4 months or 10 years after your last relationship. Go for it. Indulge yourself in complete bliss. I did, and I've honestly never been this happy before. I think some of this happiness is because I've set myself free from the people who only wanted to hurt me. Now I'm confident and my future is so clear!
I'm dating someone.
I know some of you reading this are a few of those people who love to judge me and have been for the past 4 years and that's fine. Continue if you must. What you think about me is none of my business. Just keep in mind that you only know one side of the story. It's always going to be that way and I'm okay with that. As for my new relationship, I'm happy. I've spent the last couple months working and talking to him during all my free time. He's made me realize what I deserve and not just in a relationship but in daily life too. He knows things about me that no one else know, he understands, listens and cares. He is genuine, creative, honest, and smart. He compliments my life like no one I've ever known before and I know he will be in my life forever. Luis, you make my life brighter and you've always had my back. You never break your promises and you always ask how about my day. You remember the little things and you appreciate them just the same. The little things you do add up quickly and I really want you to know just how much I appreciate your time and effort in our relationship. You truly are my greatest blessing and I'm forever grateful for you. Thank you for showing me what it is to be happy again. There is no one better for me than you!
Alright. I know this post has been all over the place. I just had to type and say what I needed to.
Be yourself guys and never settle for less than you deserve. Be happy, smile and love.
Please don't ever hold back from what you want and what you love. Take control. This is your one life and I believe you shouldn't waste any more time being sad or confused.
I love you guys, thanks for reading
Xxoo - Katie
